A Few Quirks of Life in a Christian, Kansan, Paleoconservative, Hunting, Happy Home

Politics and religion are sometimes the only things discussed at the dinner table.

When rearranging the freezer, it is decided to give the rabbits that have been in there for over four months to the dogs. (They're freezer-burned, anyway.)

Your Great Pyrenees is named "Ruger", in honor of your favorite charity.

You have to spell out or whisper "rabbit", "squirrel", or "goats" when in front of Pierre the Papillon, as he has been trained to chase them all and gets into "war mode" at the mere mention of them.

You always notice the bevy of doves in the area weeks before and weeks after dove season, but not during.

When playing Monopoly, whenever one happens to land on the space marked, "INCOME TAX PAY 10% or $200," the player declares, "Ron Paul is President," and pays nothing. This is known as the "Ron Paul is President" rule.

You have to keep replacing the marker in the ground next to that fence post that some knucklehead buried just above the surface, so that it knocks you off the riding mower and ruins the blades.

Rainfall may be measured by how wiggly the dock is in the pond, compared to how it wiggled before the storm.

Everyone laughs whenever you say, "The goats aren't getting out this time!"