Saturday, August 09, 2008

Rights Not Enumerated

In 2004, it was Kansas law that one must have a “Bowhunter Education Card” to get a license to hunt with a bow legally. To attain such a card, one must attend the “Bowhunter Education Course”. The courses ran for 10 to 12 hours, and took place in a classroom.

So, attend I did. My Dad and I both went to the Hunter Indoctrination Center to become good subjects of the crown.

For 10 to 12 hours (everything went blank for awhile, so I’m not sure.), we sat and listened to the instructors explain how nobody knows how to hunt, only professionals; nobody knows anything about the outdoors, only trained personnel; nobody knows anything about “Shot Placement”, only Medical Doctors and Anatomists.

Ignorant though we were, we received professional help to overcome our stupidity and unethical tendencies.

“Redundancy” was their motto (no joke; I‘m dead serious.), and with this motto, they admittedly and deliberately said the same thing over and over and over, to break through the wall of our stubbornness.

Thank you for being there, my loving Government! I could have never hunted the right way without you!

*Brainwashing wearing off*

In 2007, it became no longer necessary to take the Bowhunter Education Course to go hunting.

To think: I could have waited.

Oh well, at least nobody else has to take that bad old course, right?
Not so fast, you rebellious snippet!

It is now required to take a “Hunter Education Course” in order to attain a Hunting License for anyone 16 years or older. Courses are required to last at least 10 hours, with some averaging 12. Having taken a Bowhunter Education Course and owning a Bowhunter Education Card, I don’t have to take the course, do I?

Yes, I do. Anyone between the ages of 16 and 50 must have a Hunter Education Card to get any Hunting License; Bowhunter Education Card notwithstanding.

I may be attending the very same building that I did for Bowhunting, when I turn myself in for indoctrination.

I’m going it alone this time, as my Dad does not have to attend. I’ll take notes while I’m there, for blogging purposes.

They may try to parent me while I’m there, and act like I'm their child, but I’ll just tell them I already have a Father and he already taught me how to hunt.

As I’m dragged into the indoctrination room, perhaps my compatriots-in-arms and I will be singing “America, the Beautiful”, as a final insult to their Socialist scheme.

If I don’t return, remember my final words:
“Avenge me, boys -- AVENGE ME!!!”

UPDATE: 8/12: I have decided to take a detour on the Road of Misery, and will be purchasing an Apprentice License, which exempts me from taking a course. Said license may only ever be purchased once, and lasts only until the end of the year. There will be no local Hunter Education classes until October, and I'm going dove hunting in September, so I'm all but forced to do this! You will have to wait until next year to get the full report of the Hunter Indoctrination class, as I will not be attending.


Stephen Boyd said...

Got your slack, man. BTW, may I suggest Dixie?

"“Redundancy” was their motto".... That's hysterical!

And may I suggest, as long as we're on the subject of bullet placement, a bullet between the eyes will drop a tyrant just as quick as a patriot.

Son3 said...

Dixie might work! I'll have to think about that.

I chose "America, the Beautiful" because that is the song that was sung right before the American prisoners were gunned down by the Russian invaders in "Red Dawn".

A quick death is too good for many tyrants, and I think silver implements would have to be used, anyway.

Stephen Boyd said...

Awwww, shucks!

Well, perhaps we will have seceded by next year and it won't be necessary.

Son3 said...

You wish! (So do I!)

Anyway, your secession and my secession would be two different secessions, geographically; unless there would be some sort of Southern/Midwest alliance.


I might (emphasis on "might") get an Apprentice License AND go to Hunter's Ed later on in the year, but I just don't know.

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