Cricket

England's national sport of Cricket seems innocent enough, providing a jolly good time for the players and spectators. What is little noticed, however, is the dark origin of the game.

The first clue may be found in the name itself, "Cricket", which is also the name of an insect, but, not just any insect. Walt Disney, a 33rd degree Freemason, renamed Pinocchio's companion of the century-old Italian tale from "Il Grillo Parlante" (the Talking Cricket) to "Jiminy Cricket."

The original story from 1883, The Adventures of Pinocchio, claimed that Pinocchio killed the cricket with a mallet, but that it appeared to him some time later as a spirit, warning him of impending doom. Who else do we know who was killed with a mallet? Oh, I don't know, maybe Hiram Abiff, the allegorical chief architect of King Solomon's Temple, the sequence of whose untimely demise is ritualized in the initiation of apprentices to the Freemasonic Craft, in which they are struck with a mallet!

The cricket has two associates in The Adventures of Pinocchio, a crow and an owl. The crow is well known to be a bird representing witchcraft and the dark arts, and the owl is a symbol of the Greek goddess Athena, as well as the mascot of Bohemian Grove. Can a creature in the fellowship of such demonic forces be a suitable namesake of the national sport of England?

Perhaps the actual equipment and rules of "Cricketcraft" will lead us deeper into understanding the underworld of European sport.

At a Cricketcraft match, the "bowler" must throw a ball to knock over three sticks (three being an occult number), each called a "wicket" (wicked, anyone?). The opposing team must have a man guard the wickeds with his bat, another animal of the underworld, often associated with escaping Hell. The batsman protects the wickeds from the bowler, whose act of throwing the ball is called the pitch, which is also a substance used in olden times to burn witches at the stake.

So, in essence, the game requires the bat to save the wickeds from falling to the pitch.

NOTICE: The preceding was entirely tongue-in-cheek.  In fact, I literally had my tongue in my right cheek while writing some portions.  While Cricket may not be evil, it is played in Britain and Canada, so it is fair game for this American to poke fun and ridicule.  I have no qualms about persecuting Canadians and their ridiculous culture, which was hijacked from England and Scotland.  Canadians don't have much (rocks, trees, meese... maybe some nice lakes), so I do feel a little guilty for being mean to their under-cultured nation.  ...  Actually, no I don't.  They burned down the White House during the War of 1812, and that's not cool.  They need to pay.