The Trojan War

I lost a battle in the Trojan War last night.  It was to me what Gettysburg was to Pickett. 

I don't know how it happened, but I know it occurred after I accidentally unplugged my computer.  No big deal there, that's happened before.  Then I turned it back on and got about 500 alerts and warnings saying my hardrive was about to explode or something.  RAM memory was imploding.  Nothing was on my desktop.  "C:" was gone.  Ran my McAfee Total Protection anti-virus scan; it found four viruses and one trojan horse.  It was like watching a mute HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyessy:  "My mind is going, Dylan.  I can feel it.  I can feel it. I can feel it." 

But before it started singing "Daisy," I managed to recover the system that was auto-saved two days prior. In the end, I succeeding restoring everything but personal files, which were great in number and immeasurable in importance to me. 

At least I no longer need to de-fragment my computer, as there are no more fragments.  Of anything.

P.S. Unless you were ever so bored that you actually watched 2001: A Space Odyessy all the way to the end, you will have no idea what I am talking about.  So watch this.

Those UnConservative Libertarians...

"[Libertarians] have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do. Government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulation low and that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues, you know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world, and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can't go it alone, that there is no such society that I'm aware of where we've had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture." ~Rick Santorum

I've called myself a libertarian before, then I stopped.  You see, libertarianism is an ideology of individual liberty; so extreme is this ideology, it sometimes seems as though people are free to define the word itself as they will. That is, there are "big 'L' Libertarians," who generally belong the Libertarian Party; and there are "small 'l' libertarians," who simply identify with the tenants of libertarianism; and there are those who call themselves libertarians having a wide spectrum of personal opinions on everything under the sun.  Libertarian principles, apparently, extend even to its nomenclature.

I stopped referring to myself as a libertarian, because I felt the term "paleoconservative" (or "old-style conservative," if you will) was much more descriptive of my American opinion of law and society.  As paleoconservatism can be covered under the umbrella of conservatism, I think this term also implies my Christian faith, as conservatives back-in-the-day generally relied on the church to influence society, and society to influence government.  This is the best outcome for a government of, by, and for the people. Government founded on consent of the governed principles can only succeed if the governed are, at least for the most part, motivated and influenced by the church.  The church is God's "embassy" on earth, here to influence the world one individual at a time. (Salvation is not a collective matter.)  As God deals with individuals, and as individuals make up society, and as society creates government, the church must, as part of that society, act as an agent for change in society. 

The church received, neither in law nor scripture, extralegal status as amicus gubernare, having the authority to demand implementation of any sort of code of conduct through legislation or decree. Rather, the church was commanded to demand of individuals (thus society) codes of conduct and morality; in most respects, government is neither here nor there, Biblically speaking.

That said... I'll dissect Richard Santorum's statement piece by piece.

"[Libertarians] have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do."
*GASP* Who do they think they are?  Americans?  Very un-conservative...  *Wonders what Santorum's alternative to this would be*
"Government should keep our taxes down..."
The beasts!  They should be proud to render undo Caesar what is rightfully his! Very un-conservative...

"... and keep our regulation low..."
What is the purpose of government if not to run every area of human activity? I mean, who are these loony liber-utionaries? Very un-conservative.

"... and that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom..."
Hey, you don't know what sort of unmonitored, terrorist activity can be going on under your bed at night.  Liberterrorists could be plotting their next blog post under there.  The fiends.  Very un-conservative. *Wonders what Santorum was thinking when he said that*

"... we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues..."
Conservatives believe government retains the power to appoint American Idol judges.  Libertarians would cause the demise of the entire reality-based television genre if they had their way.  Very un-conservative.

"... you know, people should do whatever they want."
If people did whatever they wanted... then... well... government wouldn't be as powerful. Very un-conservative.

"Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world, and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can't go it alone..."
Yeah, we need collective responsibility and ownership of our property.  Your family is my family, your child is my child, your house is my house, your job is my job, your property is my property.  CONSERVATIVES OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

"... that there is no such society that I'm aware of where we've had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture."
*Whispers* Hey... Rick... over here, yes... *leans in* America succeeded.  Yeah, we kinda owned the idea. Our culture was built on it, you know... yeah, so you might wanna... retract that one. Yes.

Those libertarians...

"What did you do all day?"

I had a relatively short conversation with a relatively new coworker the other day.  He and I had some mutual friends and acquaintances, though we hadn't yet spoken at length about anything other than complaining about the management.  He was curious about the extruding machine's inner-workings, so I explained a little about how we make the product which he prepares for shipping.  I think it is the fact that I, at least to some, look to be between twelve and 18 years old which prompted him to ask the following question:

"How old are you, man?"

"I'm twenty."

"Did you go to EHS?"

"No, I didn't 'go to high school.'"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was homeschooled until I was 18; my entire education was at home."

"Wow."

"And I didn't do homework in bed.  I've heard all the jokes, so don't even try," I said, laughingly.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right-right-right... ha ha..."

"Yeah, and both my parents worked, so..." (Barely stifiling a smile.)

"Both your parents worked?  Man, what did you do all day?!?"

"No, it was a joke! My mom always stayed at home," I quickly blurted out as I laughed.

He was amused.  And a little overwhelmed, I think. 

Natural Government

The fact is not so much that man was meant to be free as it is that he wasn't meant to be "ruled" by other men. Man's natural state is to answer solely to God and mutually respect all other men and their property; they, too, answer to only God. Any other arrangement, whether extenuating circumstances require it or not, is unnatural.

Any governing body should therefore have as its only goal the protection of the natural rights of the individual man; as a governing body is, by definition, officiated by men, the supreme law should never usurp the authority of the ultimate Source of humanity's knowledge and wisdom, the Bible; its acceptance must be universally and freely offered by all those which it shall govern.

Without this goal, without this Source, and without this respect and recognition, no government can possibly be just, fair, or free.

Government cannot deviate from its goal to encompass anything further than codified protection of life, liberty and property any more than a trash collection service may expand to areas beyond refuse disposal, such as cosmetics or fish-farming, as it would then cease to be a trash collector. Government can no more override Biblical authority than your neighbor can tell you what groceries you may buy. Government may no more assert itself sans republican principles than a bank may decide whose money they may withhold and how much.

There is a place for everything, and everything should be in its place. This is the natural order of things; anything to the contrary is disorder.

The Blog that Time Forgot

I am so sorry to do these abstract, nostalgic, "fourth wall-destroying" posts about my blog and my absence, but I must say... I feel like I just awoke from a coma.

I flitted around my drafts (might have to finish them ALL), I perused my old posts, I revisited old comments, and I realized I had no idea how long and hard I blogged!  The timeline of when I started, when I stopped, and what I did in-between is so blurry... I got lost.  

Time to kick it back in gear.

Okay, settle down, Dylan. Get thyself back into the swing of things.  Thy readers wait without. Writeth a magnum oputh.

GOP, Meet RON

Mitt Romney is our only clear choice for President.  As Republicans, Santorums and Gingrichs come and go, but Romney is always there. Others roller-coaster their way through the polls, through the primaries, but Romney keeps on the straight and narrow path to the White House.  So, we should all just vote for him.

"But what about Ron P..."  *interrupts* That's enough of that kinda talk, stranger.  Ron Paul's a kook.  Don't bother me with facts or figures.  None of that there common sense. Don't tell me we can't afford the wars.  Don't tell me we can't print more money, because we can always print more, because that's what "more" means! Just let me have another drink of that propaganda-spiked kool-aid...

The preceding is what I get from every mainline Republican statist about the election.  It's on all the media, it's flowing from the mouths of the pundits.  It's everywhere.  You can't get a word in about Ron Paul without him being dismissed as crazy.  You may occasionally find the sympathetic Republican who will be so kind as to concede that Dr. Paul is spot-on about absolutely everything - except his darned foreign policy.  "Oh, bother!  We can't stop funding foreign dictators! What would that do to our national security?!?"  Please.

My commentary, at least for this post, shall only be as follows: Ron Paul is black coffee on a Monday morning to a very hungover GOP.  Another drink would help the headache, but that's not going to fix the problem.

Now that my blog has come out of retirement, expect more on this and other subjects. 

Ah, paragraphs... I missed you my friends.

Now what?

So, I'm back, and I know there is no shortage of blog fodder out there, but I don't know how much of my readership remains in the wake of my sabbatical.  So, are you there, and what are we talking about?

I'm Back, by Dylan "Deelambs" Callahan

I've been gone a long time. Fought Facebook; won friends; lost friends; pwned some statists; survived SOPA.

Well, now I'm back. 

Soooooooooooooo...

Here we go again.

How to Invade Your Neighboring Country in 12 Steps

Items you'll need:

• Troops (3 - 30 soldiers), weapons optional
• Your own country's flag
• Wi-Fi capable device
• GPS device
• CD player
• CD with at least one track of triumphant music
• Cellphone

Instructions:

1. Begin marching troops towards border of the country you wish to invade.
2. Use Wi-Fi capable device to access the internet.
3. Use your favourite search engine mapping service to locate an area within the border of target country which has flagpole with that country's flag flying on it.
4. Commence actual invasion into that area.
5. Once you have located flagpole, lower flag using soldiers. For added effect, you may have them grumble with disgust at the inferior design and representation of the lowered flag.
6. Place your own country's flag where inferior flag was previously, and raise to the top. Again, for added effect, you may have soldiers cheer the superiority of your flag as it is raised.
7. Turn on CD player.
8. Insert CD with triumphant music.
9. Have soldiers sing and dance. (If you have weapons, it is not recommended that you fire them into the air, contrary to popular misapplication of firearms during times of military triumph.)
10. While soldiers are still triumphing, use cellphone to call your government to inform them of the invasion and to invite them to the celebration. At this time, you will be informed that you weren't supposed to invade the target country.
11. Look at Wi-Fi device, compare to GPS device, and declare the search engine previously used to locate area unreliable.
12. Replace target country's inferior flag on flagpole and return to country of origin.

Congratulations! You have just invaded your neighboring country!

Stewart Meets with Treasury Secretary

This past April, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner paid a visit to comedian Jon Stewart to discuss the economy.

Um... why?

“Jon Stewart is influential in America, so we took the opportunity for the two to meet and to discuss the economy,” is the response given by the Treasury spokesman.

Uhh... what? Because a comedian is influential (a sign of the times in and of itself), the treasury secretary goes to discuss the economy with him. I would say Glenn Beck, Ronald McDonald, or Justin Bieber have as much influence as Stewart does, why choose the liberal comedian? Is there some benefit to one or the other?

I'd like to see the minutes of that meeting.